Momma Bear

Addendum to the Spring Break Post

2010-04-22T23:26:00.000-07:00

The last post I wrote was on March 19, 2010 where I shared that my number three son and I had a bet going. It was spring break and we were suppose to go that whole week letting him enjoy the whole week, therefore, getting a break from worrying about me; this is because I was grieving so hard about selling my home of 39 years where I raised all four of my sons. Over the years, the house had many problems, especially in the basement. I have had to get something major done pretty much every five years, meanwhile in between the five years, there were many other things that needed to be done; therefore, I decided to sale my home. After it sold, I found a nice condo; shortly before I moved in I guess reality hit me and I had a complete melt down and lost 15 pounds in the process I guess it didn't occur to me that I would take it so hard. Anyway, we both lost the bet. I saw his name on my caller ID and when I called him back, He denied calling me. I have a new phone and sometimes the names of people who call will show back up in a few days or so. This happened twice and a few days after that, he called and said that he was not going to let anyone tell him when he could call his mother;that he would call anytime he wanted to. You know I got a big kick out of that. Hee hee

IT'S SPRING BREAK

2010-03-19T11:08:00.000-07:00

Sometimes when I wake up in the moring, before I get out of bed and say my prayer and devotion, I think of something that will make me start to laugh. Usually it is something that one of my grandkids have done, but this time it was my number three son. I have sort of a bet going on with him. He's on Spring break from work and because number two son and his family are out of town and the other two brothers live out of town; he feels a responsibility to make sure I'm not lonely; he has been calling twice a day and showing up over here or taking me some where. The funny part of it is he tried to arrange for me to go out of town, either to Texas or Minnesota, but because of the expenses and last minute planning, it didn't work out. The reason he wants me to go on a vacation so he can have a vacation from worrying about me; therefore, I told him to take the rest of this week (Spring Break) to do what he wants to do; after all he has his own life. Just act as though I left town. We took a bet to see if he could do it without contacting me and that I could do it without needing to call him and without being co-dependent. Yesterday when I got home from my activities and errands, I checked my caller ID and saw his number on it, but when I called him he immediately said "are you missing me or something?" I said "no" I saw your number on my caller ID; and asked if he called and he said "no." I asked him if he missed me and he denied it. I have a new phone and sometimes it will bring up calls that came in perhaps a week or so ago. I will let you all in on the results as soon as they are in. :-) This is halarious.

QUESTION!

2009-08-25T20:03:00.000-07:00

I have a grandson who is two and he is such a cutie pie; in fact, sometimes I call him that. He loves for me to come and visit because I play with him. (Did I say "play")? Yes I did. We play a game that he calls "Bonk-a-lonk. That is when we push his little cars and trucks forward and they hit something, we say "BONK"! Sometimes we chase each other around their pool table with two large plastic vehicles and run into each other and again it's "BONK!" I love to make up games to play with him and he loves for me to come and visit (opps I mean "play") with him.

Sometimes we play with his plastic animals from a farm and a Noah's Ark toy that he has. I move them around and make the noises for them. He always makes sure he hides the lion because I think he is kind of scared of him; so when I come to visit and we decide to play with the animals, he will say, "alt oh, where did the lion go?" Since I know where he hides the lion, I bring it out and ask if he wants it, but he says no and so grandma has to put it back in it's hiding place. Sometimes when he comes to visit grandma, he will just out of the blue say "alt oh, where did the lion go?" and then I repeat it; now it has become a part of our playing routine.

Now I have a question: "Alt oh, where did the summer go?"

What Is Wrong With Me?

2009-07-08T17:13:00.000-07:00

Over the past couple of weeks, I have been feeling angry and it has taken almost nothing to set me off. I think it began with my trip home from Minnesota a couple of weeks ago. June 18th was the 14th anniversary of my mother's tragic death in a truck trailer accident. I just kept thinking about her and many thoughts about that horrible day came to my mind. Shortly before I left for Minnesota, my brother-in-law passed away from a horrible accident that just suddenly happened, and before that, an old friend passed away; preceding that, an old childhood friend. However, after a bit, I felt I was handling all of this pretty well, then Michael Jackson passed away. Since then there has been a great deal of publicity about Michael.

Michael Jackson has been an entertainer for all of my adult life and the young lives of my sons. I have kept up with him pretty much throughout the years, but I guess I never expected someone as popular as he to just pass away out of the blue. Granted, I was shocked like the rest of his fans.

I hadn't been in touch with the secular part of entertainment for quite a few years because I have been concentrating mostly on my walk with God, attending church and just trying to follow Him the best I could. My thoughts and a great deal of my conversations have revolved around the Lord and my family. But in the past week or so, I have been experiencing a great deal of depression and feeling despondent.

I am surprised about how much of the Michael Jackson publicity I have been reading and watching on television. It is just unbelievable that he would pass on in the prime of his life. Yesterday, while watching the memorial,I came to the conclusion that I am actually grieving Michael's death; just thinking about how sad his life was and how that now he is gone; he is so much in the limelight. Somehow I wish he could see how people all over the world are grieving, listening to his music, watching films of him on television, spending a great deal of money on his music and other items pertaining to him and trying to remember him. It seems as though people are almost worshipping him and referring to him an "idol," which I do not agree with. Even though I don't look upon people or man made objects as "idols" I am still very sad about Michael's life and death. I guess even though I never met him except for on television; it almost seems as though he was family because my sons always listened to his music, we have watched him on television over the years and have read about him in the newspapers. I felt so bad for him during the bad publicity and never believed that he molested any children. Even though people said he was "weird," I believe that some things in his childhood or even his adult life caused those problems in him.

Yesterday as I watched the coverage of his memorial I began to think deep, wondering how people would act if Jesus would all of a sudden appear on earth as he did many years ago. I would like to think there would be a much bigger crowd of people and excitement all over the world. I imagined that I would be even more excited to see Him and would be rushing and trying to push my way through just to touch Him or talk to Him. Even though I admit that I loved Michael Jackson, no one can compare to what I feel for my Lord and Savior, JESUS CHRIST! I pray that Michael accepted Jesus as his Lord and Savior and that he will meet the REAL KING -- KING JESUS!

STOP REFERRING TO HIM AS "JACKO!"

2009-07-05T21:39:00.000-07:00

It is cruel to continue to refer to Michael as Jacko. Let his memory be as it should: a great star with lots and lots of talent. His name is Michael Jackson; not Jacko.

Goodbye Michael

2009-07-02T17:56:00.000-07:00

I am deeply saddened at the sudden death of Michael Jackson. While I thank the Media for showing positive things about his life; I'm sorry they feel the need to over emphasize the negative. I am so sick of watching the them play and replay Michael dangling his baby over the ledge out the window. GIVE US A BREAK!!! They really need to let Michael rest in peace. He was a great singer/performer, so why not show us some films when he received music awards time after time after time and the overwhelmingly happy look on his face as he received them and the reactions of the other famous people in the audience as they clapped for him. I believe there were extinuating circumstances that led him to do some of the things he did that were disturbing to the public. I really wish he could see the outpouring of sadness his many, many, many fans have shown since his sudden death. I hope the media will leave his children alone and not make their lives miserable like they did Michaels. I never did believe he was guilty of the crimes in which he was accused. I believe those two accusations against him were the beginning of what eventually caused his death. I always liked him and am very sorry he is gone. May he rest in peace and find solice in the Lord.

A Lesson Learned

2009-06-07T18:32:00.000-07:00

Each morning when the Lord awakens me for another day; I think of Him first. I have always thought of Him as being number 1; even though I don’t always put Him first. Today I had a long conversation with a church member and as I listened to her conversation, that is when I realized how really important it is to “put God first!”

My plan for the day was to just take it easy and to watch a movie. My thoughts were on whether or not to go ahead with the movie or get into the “Word.” Since my morning usually begins with prayer and a Bible Scripture or something like that; and although I didn’t read the Bible this morning, I felt it to be okay to go ahead and watch the movie. You know the Lord really works in mysterious ways because while I was watching the movie; I began to get a spiritual message.

The movie I chose was “Marley and Me,” a secular movie that, as far as I know, was not really meant to give us a spiritual message. I don’t know how many of you have seen this picture but I’m glad the Lord allowed me to. During the beginning of the movie; a man gives his wife a puppy for her birthday. Throughout this movie, the puppy was very frisky, playful, reckless, practically destroying everything in sight. At one point, the wife began to have children and became difficult to live with; arguing and complaining about things. She even got so upset with the dog, she told her husband to take it away. He was pretty attached to “Marley” and just took him to his best friend’s house for the night. While there, his friend tried to persuade him to leave his wife but was unable to because no matter what, the man was willing to stay put in spite of all the problems. When he returned home the wife inquired about Marley; the husband told her where he had taken the dog and upon realizing she was wrong apologized and admitted that Marley belonged with them.

Here we have a wife who is at her wits end; a dog that has become “the worse dog in the world,” according to his owner, and a best friend who is trying to get him to leave his wife. All throughout this movie, I kept saying “I’d get rid of that dog,” meaning I wouldn’t put up with things that dog was doing.

I won’t go into anymore of the story in case you have not seen it yet, but; the owner talked about how a dog has unconditional love no matter what. What I got from the movie was no matter how bad the situation; the wife, kids, dog, husband, etc. or what ever went wrong; they stayed together no matter what. No situation is perfect, marriage, jobs, friends, kids, relationships, church, etc., it could benefit you to stick it out, however, there are always extenuating circumstances that make it impossible to stick it out, but if it is His will, the Lord, it will work out if you ask Him.

ANOTHER GRANDSON TO SPOIL!

2009-06-04T14:22:00.001-07:00

Yes, I have another grandson! He was born this past Monday, 6-1-09. What a cutie! He must look like grandma -- hee hee hee. He was 8 pounds, 5 ounces. It took almost all day for mommy to get him here (OUCH!). I remember those days. Congratulations to me, Mommy, Daddy and big brother. :-)

Thinking Back what my "mommy" told me about where babies came from

2009-05-31T18:08:00.001-07:00

Tomorrow I'm going to be a grandmother for the eighth time. Thank you Jesus! Eight grandchildren; Wow! I LOVE IT! This grandmother business is GREAT!

I remember when I was a little girl; I only had one brother and he was a big tease. One day I decided that I wanted another sibling to play with, so I asked my "mommy" where can she get another baby. (I think this story was unique). She told me at the store. I then asked her if she would go and buy another one but she said they were all out of them. I remember how disappointed I was... after all, how dare them run out of babies. I think I asked her several times after that to check again and each time the store was out of babies. Finally, I gave up.

Emotions

2009-05-18T19:06:00.000-07:00

Tonight I watched one of my favorite T.V. shows, "One Tree Hill." I would say it is a night time soap opera. Actually, as a small tot I was sort of raised listening to soaps and later, watching them with my grandmother. As an adult, over the years I have enjoyed the story lines, drama, etc., as I have sporatically watched them.

During the past few years, I have become disappointed in most of the programming, on television, simply because it consists of mostly murder pictures. It seems as though from 6:30pm on, it's murder mystery after murder mystery until the 10:00 news comes on then we have to see and hear true storys about murder.

Getting back to "One Tree Hill," I was elated as I watched it tonight, and it made me happy to see that something wonderful happened to everyone in the story. Maybe the plot ended tonight, I don't know but the whole hour was beautiful because it reminded me that wonderful things can happen on television shows and it's not boring to watch.

Earlier today, I attended a funeral of an old friend. His wife,(P.D.) my ex-husband and I were running buddies years ago. The two husbands worked at the same company and we did everything together. After my divorce, I continued to be a good friend, however, we didn't keep in touch nearly as much. Several years ago, I attended their 25th wedding anniversary, and it was such a beautiful and happy occasion. My heart really goes out to P.D. because over the years, she has lost three children, her sister, a sister-in-law and now her beloved husband. She is a lovely person and a very strong woman.

As I watched "One Tree Hill" tonight, it delighted me to see a program where good things actually happened to almost everyone on the show and the plot came out great. However, at times, my mind went back to the sad event of the day. It was kind of strange how you can feel happiness one minute, and sadness the next. Watching "One Tree Hill" tonight did help me quite a bit because it made me smile for quite some time. It would be nice to see more of what I saw tonight and to think that people would actually enjoy that type of programming more often.

I will keep praying for P.D. and her family; hoping that the Lord will bring them peace, love and joy for the rest of their lives and pour out nothing but good blessings to them.

I HAVE POISON IVY!

2009-05-15T17:34:00.000-07:00

For over a week I have been scratching, itching and puffing up. It is overwhelming. I got some generic capsules like benedryl, and have been taking them every four hours. I then put a lot of calamine lotion on the rashes Every four hours the itching starts up again which reminds me that I need some more Benedryl and calamine lotion. Any one of you out there who have been through this, I know you can relate. One day when I was working in my back yard, I used some spray to kill the poison ivy/oak.

Last week I went out to the back yard to pull (what I thought was the dead limbs and trash them). Little did I know I have acquired poison ivy again after having it a couple years ago.

Unfortunately, I didn’t wear gloves. Early every morning around 3:00 to 4:00am, I wake up scratching. HOW LONG WILL THIS BE GOING ON; IT’S BEEN A WEEK ALRLEADY! (Actually, don’t tell anyone, but I think I got into it again when I was clipping bushes in my front yard). I finally went out a purchased some gloves.

Shopping for Mother's Day Gifts

2009-05-05T21:36:00.000-07:00

Even though my sons and their wives tell me that since I am the mother/grandmother, I don't need to buy them gifts, however, I do so anyway. I have three daughter-in-laws whom I love, and perceive to be "A number one" mothers. I love recognizing them for their excellent parenting skills of my grandchildren, the love they give to my sons and the things they do for and with me.

This year, one of the stores I went to was having a terrific sale. Many of the cosmetics, lotions, bath products, etc., were name brand items and were marked way down. I was able to get the girls nice toiletries, etc., plus, something for my step-mom and a birthday gift for a friend for only $20.00. Everyone should be pleased with the gifts they will receive from me.

Two of my daughter-in-laws reside in different states. I packaged up the gifts to send to the one who lives in Texas. When I went to the post office to buy postage; it cost more to send the gift than the actual cost of it. I found that to be amusing, but it is okay with me because I have an opportunity to let three people who mean a lot to me, that I appreciate them for being themselves and for all that they do. I will be visiting one of my sons who lives in Minnesota; so I will be able to give his wife her gift in person. May the Lord truly bless each and everyone of them and my whole family. For those of you who read this post; may the Lord also bless you and yours. Have a blessed Mother's Day out there to all of you mothers/grandmothers/step mothers, foster mothers/and guardians.

Thinking Out Loud Again

2009-04-10T20:50:00.000-07:00

"I will lift up mine eyes towards the hills from whence cometh my help; my help cometh from the Lord who made Heaven and Earth." Psalm 121. This is one of my very favorite scriptures. I have used it many times in expressing condolences to others. I wonder how many people really receive the help they get from the Lord? So many times we don't realize we have been helped or that he is helping us. We live in a fast Paced world where everything has to be done quickly. Production is money and we all know that the love of money is the root of all evil. Therefore, it seems almost impossible for many people to wait on Him.

Sometimes I think about what it will be like in Heaven. From what I understand there will be no more darkness and of course no more sleeping. I can't imagine being awake forever. I know we will see our loved ones again but will we know them as we did here on earth?

A couple of weeks ago, I visited my ex sister-in-law in the hospital. She was in her very last stages of Alzheimers Disease. For the past two years, she was a resident in a nursing home facility and was unable to talk, walk, or feed herself, and it seemed as though she was a vegetable. It was so sad to see her like that. I walked up to her bed and she looked at me as she usually did when I visited her in the nursing home. However, this past year my visits were few and far between. Anyway, I walked up to her bed and it seemed as though she was trying to tell me something and it sounded like she said "hi." A tear ran down her cheek and I wiped it away and gave her a kiss on the forehead. A couple days later, she was gone. This disease for her was definitely "the long goodbye." I never wish death on anyone but when someone is suffering; I am not sorry to see them out of their misery.

A lot of times, in an attempt to make it more bearable, I imagine that all of our loved ones who have passed on are up in Heaven having a party and when death takes another soul, he/she goes up and joins the crowd and upon the person's arrival, the others begin to converse with the new comer and discuss how they died.

Well enough of this sad post. I just needed to think out loud and remember my sister-in-law who was a very sweet and nice person.

LEAVE JASON MESNICK ALONE!

2009-03-08T21:11:00.000-07:00

I am saddened by all of the negative publicity about Jason Mesnick,from the "Bachelor." In an article I read earlier today, Jason was referred to as "the most hated man". I DO NOT HATE HIM! There are two sides to every story. I saw him when he was rejected on the same program by a bachelorette before he became the bachelor. Jason was deeply hurt and I saw a geninue guy with real feelings. Granted, he did not have to humilate Melissa on the program by dumping her on television, but I feel that he was genuinely sorry for doing so. We don't know what Melissa could have done to show her true colors to make Jason change his mind. He admitted falling in love with both women, but somehow, Melissa must have had another side of her which apparently came out and made Jason see he had made a mistake. EVERYONE MAKES MISTAKES. When Jason cried, I believe it was genuine and I resent comments from people saying he cried like a girl. I saw a man who was genuinely sorry for what he did; that is why he cried. It is not bad for a man to cry. The former bachelor, Andrew Firestone, is no longer with Jen Schefft, the woman he proposed to on his finale in 2003. So Jason found out a lot sooner that they were not compatible, and I agree that it is better that he found out now then make a mistake of marrying Melissa and then finding out too late. Yes, I feel bad for Melissa; we have all been there, but WHAT IS SHE NOT TELLING US! As I say, leave him alone, this is not good for his son, and we all know how much Jason loves his son.

Minnesota Fun Time

2008-10-19T06:22:00.000-07:00

Hello from Minnesota - have been here all weekend; but as usual, when you are having fun, the time just doesn't sit still.

We got here early Friday morning (like about 1:30am). It's always so nice to see family, especially when you haven't seen them for months at a time. The other day, we went for a walk; the whole family. This was an attempt to get my son walking at least three times a week. It was a beautiful day and the walk was wonderful. I took pictures all the way to the park and all the way back. On the way back, Mom and Dad decided to have a race to see who could run the fastest. Due to Dad cheating a little bit; he won. They decided to try again and this time, Dad won by a small margin. Dad used to be a champ in cross country relays in high school and made a record. Two years ago, someone broke the record. Now you can see why I want to encourage him to walk; it's because I want him to have good health and be here for a long time.

His birthday was last week and I am behind in getting his present; therefore, since I noticed there is a basketball court at the park; I intend to buy him a basketball.

"There's a Mouse In the House!

2008-10-05T01:35:00.000-07:00

It is getting cold and during this time of year you start to get unwanted guests. Last Friday (10-3-08), I was straightening up things in the bedroom. When I started out, I looked across the floor in the living room and saw a mouse running across the floor. I panicked and ran back into the bedroom and shut the door. I was sitting in a chair pondering what to do when a friend (church member) called. I told her about the mouse and she asked me if I wanted her to come over. I immediately said "yes" however my front door was locked. She advised me to go to the front door and unlock it. I reminded her of the mouse out there. She said to make a mad dash through the living room and surely the mouse has probably run somewhere else in the house. I started running toward the door when suddenly the mouse appeared. There is a small couch right there against the wall before you get to the door. I looked up and the mouse came flying straight up from behind the couch. I screamed and ran out the front door. I stood out there at least for ten or more minutes, waiting for my friend to get here. This little mouse was very bold. He would go under the couch and peek out at me, turning his head from one side to the other. That was before I went out the door. I kept looking in and it seemed as though I saw the mouse running back and forth from the couch to the wall across from the couch. Then I began to reason with myself -- "why are you standing outside letting a mouse run you out of your own house, after all is he paying the rent here? However, I continued to wait for my friend. When she arrived, she informed me that she was afraid of mice also. We went into the house; she had a broom, and kept pushing it under the couch, but no mouse. Then she told me to go get some D-Con "rat" killer and put it down; as that would surely kill the mouse. I then went to the mall and got some D-Con mouse and rat killer. There were four little containers, each containing the little green nougets (sp)for the mouse to eat. First I placed one under the couch and three other places in the house. I came in the house, did what I had to do, telling myself that I was going to trust in the Lord that I would not see it again, so far, so good. I have two sons who live here and they both are scared of mice and also my brother (no help there). So far, in trusting the Lord, I haven't seen it; perhaps it got hungry and ate the food I put down for him.

Obama's Anger Problem?

2008-09-24T07:33:00.000-07:00

This morning I came across a news item on the internet that is entitled "Obama's Anger Problem." However, as I began to read it, I was surprised to see that people are complaining about the fact that he does NOT get angry and not only are they are calling this weakness but are calling Obama a wuss among other things. Now they are using this lame excuse for trying to say he could not run this country. I see this as another way to try and sabatoge his campaign. What will they come up with next?

Below is the comment I made on the site where I read this ignorance:

I'm sorry that people cannot see that someone who does not act like a raving maniac like everyone seems to want him to do, is something other than weakness. I believe that Obama has class and he knows how to carry himself well. I see that as being a strong person because anyone who can put up with the grief he has been getting from all of you without loosing his cool is a very strong person and would be someone we would need to run this country like the sane adult that he is. I think that too many of you are watching too much of the violence on television that is dominating this country and that is sad because that seems to be what is causing a lot of the real violence, killing, etc. It's about time we are able to see and start to appreciate someone who can keep his cool and not act like an animal.

TRUST

2008-09-22T19:23:00.000-07:00

Tonight I went to an Evangelistic meeting put on by my church. When I got home I had a message on my phone mail. It was a young lady who attends my church. She asked me to call and give her my definition of "trust." This is what I said. "Trust," is the art of knowing without a doubt that you can count on something or someone to never let you down. One example that comes to mind is sometimes when I am driving over a bridge, a thought comes to mind, "will this bridge cave in?" I don't stop and go back for fear I won't make it, because my trust in God keeps me going. Trust is not doubting, but knowing.

Tag: What is your definition of "Trust?"

A SPECIAL BIRTHDAY!

2008-09-17T08:23:00.000-07:00

Tomorrow September 18, 2008 will be the birthday of a very special person in my life. He is a great basketball player; in fact, he beats his dad all the time. He excels in Karati (sp), in fact, he's an all around athlete. My special person gets pretty much all "A's" at the Christian school he attends; and He loves "Spiderman." Even though he has to be redirected from time to time, gets his dad into trouble, keeps mommy in line, doesn't like to kiss his grandmothers because we are "old and have gray hair," doesn't like to be told he's cute, even though he is a cutie with big pretty eyes that talk, he's a pretty special kid if I have to say so myself. My special little man will be seven-years-old and I wish I could be there to share his birthday with him.

Who is this special young man?

HAPPY BIRTHDAY "K," Buck's little son. I LOVE YOU, from Grandma "Momma Bear."

Retirement Review

2008-09-09T16:47:00.001-07:00

Things are starting to calm down for now. Hopefully I will get a chance to pretty much get used to not going to work. I do, however, plan to take some courses at a local two-year college, at the beginning of next year just to keep myself updated. Who knows, I may just join the people who went back to working part time just because they couldn't afford to live on their social security check. I am in the process of just trying to figure it out according to my budget.

Following is a preview of what I did last week.

Sunday - took a neighbor to the emergency room at Lutheran Hospital.

Monday - Took my dad to the emergency room at Lutheran Hospital.

Tuesday - visited my nephew at Mercy Hospital.

Wednesday - visited my nephew at Lutheran Hospital.

Thursday - visited my niece at Methodist Hospital.

Friday - went to the emergency room at Lutheran Hospital on behalf of my ex-sister-in law.

Saturday - went to church -- God is good and is in the healing process.

My neighbor and my dad are alright and are back home. My nephew is still in the hospital but things are improving. My niece is still in the hospital as she is pregnant and has been put on bed rest to keep the baby from coming too early. My ex-sister-in-law, who lives in a nursing home with Alzheimers disease did not need to be admitted to the hospital.

Why Vote for a Person because of His/her Race or Gender?

2008-09-05T15:47:00.000-07:00

This is not a hate post by all means; I am just expressing things as I have seen for myself in the early years of my life and had been taught. I was born in 1942 and from what I learned as a child is, when the black man was brought here from Africa, the white man perceived him to be an animal and said they had tails. They were treated worse than animals and not allowed to be educated in any way. It is my opinion that we as African Americans have been looked down on by almost everyone, and in fact, I have seen pets treated more like family/humans and with more love then black people who are human beings with brains,feelings and everything any person of any race has. They were created by God, are very capable of learning interacting as decent respectful human beings and becoming great men and women. In fact I would say that in spite of our horrible origin here in the states, we have immersed, into intellectual, fine and strong human beings. Of course, things are a lot better today.

This is a comment I wrote on Brotha Buck’s blog because one of his other commentors seemed to be criticizing him because in one of his previous blog posts, Buck stated he was voting for Obama because he is black.

Voting for Obama because he's black to me is a statement that we would like to see a black man win, mainly because he deserves to and not see a black man who is just as capable of running the country as well as any white man/woman can,lose because he's black and he can't possibly win; he's allowed to run to appease him and/or the blacks.

To see Obama win would tell me that perhaps the country has seen a black man for what he can do, his good qualities, his professionalism, his capabilities and that he is just as capable of running the country as any one can. Actually, it is good to see some blacks supporting one another and coming together as a race to help a fellow black American. Most Black people have been known not to support each other but rather turn their backs on their own race.

I’m sure that many women voted for Hilary because of her being a woman and many people will vote for Palin because she’s a woman.

This is a great country and everybody who has been blessed by God to be a citizen should appreciate being here.

Grin and Bear It?

2008-08-23T19:37:00.000-07:00

I am just venting again. I know the Bible says that “whosoever shall smite thee on thy right cheek, turn to him the other also". Matthew 5:39. I am a Seventh Day Adventist Christian; therefore, I attend church on Saturdays.

For the past 18 or 19 years, I have been teaching the Cradle Roll class (children, age 0-6) during our Sabbath School time (like Sunday School). This year I gave it up and let another member take the class. She is relatively new to our church and was a Cradle Roll Sabbath School Teacher in her former church. She has accepted many positions in the church; therefore, she keeps busy. I am in an adult class now and am the secretary. A while back, the current teacher and the pastor asked if anyone would be willing to help her out from time to time if the need came up, and I volunteered to do it. However, during the past couple of months, I have come to Sabbath School at least five times only to learn that I needed to teach her class because she was not there. I don’t mind doing it, but it unnerves me when I’m not told before hand; therefore, when I go to teach the class, I have no idea what the curriculum is and where her lessons are. Last week when I arrived, there was another member teaching her class. When I arrived today, again I was informed that the teacher was not there and again I had to take her class without any lessons, etc. When I asked the other member if she had been asked to teach the class last week, she said “no.” I shared with her my dilemma and she told me to just come prepared, meaning don’t complain, just be ready to do it. I then felt guilty for being upset about it.

I am also the Assistant Adventist Youth (AY) Leader and twice a month, the AY leader and I are responsible for doing the program. I contacted the youth leader earlier today and asked her if she had anything planned for today’s program and she told me no, so I told her I had something in place for us. She told me to type it out, bring it and get copies for her so she could follow along. I worked all afternoon on the program which I had planned a few weeks before and shared my ideas with her. I went to church and got there a half hour early so I could set up for my program. When I went up front to start the program with songs, the AY Leader came in and informed me that they had planned another program this afternoon and asked if we could do mine on another day. I became frustrated and told her okay; therefore, we took down the items I had for my program. I was upset for a while but then decided to let go because I would feel guilty about being frustrated about it and she had been understanding on a few times when I was unable to make it for the program; however, I always checked it out with her and asked if it was okay if I had to miss because I needed to watch my grandson and she would tell me not to worry about it. The communication in our church is not good at all. Sometimes I now wonder if I am supposed to be upset when things like this happens because I am always made to feel guilty by others when I so get frustrated.

THE FUNNIEST SENIOR MOMENT EVER!

2008-07-18T08:09:00.000-07:00

My dad's birthday is today and my number 3 son's was yesterday. I got daddy's mixed up and had him thinking his birthday was yesterday, because for some reason I thought the same thing. I called him up; sang happy birthday to him and throughout the day I called and wished him a happy birthday. My brother and I had given him his present early. Anyhow I woke up this morning and realized that today is the 18th of July and not yesterday; therefore, I must call and inform daddy that I got it mixed up and he will have to put up with me celebrating his birthday again today. What makes it so bad, number 3 son's birthday was yesterday and I was celebrating his also. I called him and sang him the birthday song, etc., not realizing I was celebrating two birthdays on the same day. Number 3 son was born on July 17th and daddy, July 18th.

After sharing this with a couple of my friends, read what they had to say:

"It must be something about retirement. I thought all day yesterday that it was Wednesday until last evening when I asked Cindi a question about Thursday, She corrected me on the day and then I realized that I was supposed to be at a meeting. Needless to say, I missed the meeting......."

"It’s OK. I went a whole year thinking I was a year older than I actually was. My daddy’s birthday was yesterday also." (And this one is not retired yet).

I AM OFFICIALLY RETIRED - WHOA WHOA

2008-07-10T18:29:00.000-07:00

Friends and family members keep asking me if I am sad; you see, I have been on the same job for 25 years. "Are you kidding?" is my reply. No, I am not sad. My retirement party is tomorrow and I believe the only tears shed by me will be of joy. Thank the Lord he let me live and work as long as I have. Today I walked two miles at the lake in the hot sun. No more of that -- I will go in the morning when it is cooler. Everyone keeps telling me I will be bored. Not I said the fly. By the Grace of God, I have plans of what I will do and hopefully I will get to do it. There are a lot of things I need to do around the house and that will take some time, such as painting the back porch and bathroom; clearing out my attic closet, scrapbooking, having lunch with friends, spending time with my 87 year old dad and appreciating him while I can and also an elderly friend that I have, enhance my church duties and definitely spend more time with the Lord, take some courses, visit the wellness center a couple times a week, house work, garage sales, going to visit my grandchildren, spending more time in the yard, and many other things. I may be retired from work but I'm not retired from living yet. The Lord is good and I thank him for allowing me to live long enough to retire and prayerfully enough time to enjoy my retirement and to get closer to Him.

SO MANY EXCITING THINGS HAPPENING!

2008-06-26T17:53:00.000-07:00

Guess where I am -- Clear Water, Florida -- yea, yea, yea. I am visiting here with my number two son and his family, then we will go to Orlando and catch up Number one son and family for a very fun vacation. Haven't seen number one son and his family for two years and I am anxious to meet up with them. THANK YOU JESUS -- he has been sooo good; watching over us, helping us to have traveling mercies the two days it took to get us here. I have never seen anything so beautiful as the sites I've seen here, except when we went on our cruise. If someone had told me perhaps ten years or more ago that I would fly in a plane, go on a cruise and/or even go to Florida, I would have said "no, it will never happen" so as I always say; never say never. The Lord is good, his mercy is everlasting and his truth endureth to all generations!!!!!

Remembering a Sad Day!

2008-05-25T20:36:00.000-07:00

“Did you hear about Sally?” were the words I heard one December morning (12-3-08), when I answered the phone at work. My heart began to sink as I answered “no.” Then the voice at the other end said “she died.” I can still hear those words sometimes in my mind. Unbelief continues to cross my mind at times. I am still very sad to have lost a very good friend who was a devout Christian who had the love of God in her mind and soul, a dedicated prayer warrior and a good influence on me spiritually. Her last words were “call Dr. Jesus.”

Tomorrow (5-26-08) is Memorial Day. I went to the grave yard today to decorate my mother’s grave because it is expected to rain tomorrow. Shortly after putting the flowers on my mother’s grave, my son, who went with me along with his wife and son, helped me to find Sally’s grave. I stood over her grave for a moment and after a few minutes could not stand there any longer. I didn't decorate it because I knew that she wouldn't have wanted it. I think she didn't believe in going out to decorate graves. It may have had something to do with the Scripture when Jesus told one of his Disciples to "let the dead bury their own dead."

Here is a poem I wrote in her honor.

Why Did You Leave?

Why did you leave us?
You were so dear.
God said he would not put on
us any more than we could bear.

The Lord swooped down
One day to take you away.
This was not real, so it seemed
I hoped and hoped it was a bad dream.

I was livid and did not understand
Why such an Angel as you
was taken from our land.

Did I question God as to why
You had to go?

I ask His forgiveness for answers
I need not know.

I need to trust that He knows the way.
The plans for us he has already made.

A Special Visitor

2008-04-28T14:41:00.001-07:00

Last week I was at work. I had walked away from my desk when I looked out the window and who did I see? Why my little one year old grandson and his "mommy." I was thrilled and a big smile came across my face. Mommy brought him in and when he saw me, he smiled. He knows his grandma, I make sure of that. Of course "grandma" took him around so everyone could see him, after all, they hear about him and the rest of my grandkids, kids and daughter-in-laws all the time.

I know, I know, I shouldn't be talking to my co-workers all the time about my kids/grandkids, at least my mother used to tell me that. She told me people would get tired of listening to me. That's probably true but I could not help myself. Anyway, he went walking down the hall and I was right in back of him.

Most people say their babies get into everything; I say my grandson investigates everything. He is very smart. We took him outside for a walk and when he saw a van in the parking lot with big tires, he was so excited and kept saying "wheels, wheels, wheels." He identifies objects simply because mom teaches him expecially from books. He has always loved to be read to pretty much from day one.

Anyway, while outdoors, he sat on the sidewalk and discovered some little twigs on the ground and picked up a couple and played with them for a moment. The next day when I arrived at work, I saw one of the twigs and decided that sometime during the day I would pick it up take it home and put it in the scrapbook I'm doing. Later on, while on my way to lunch, I saw a bird in the parking lot with a twig that looked like the one I was after. teasingly I thought, "that bird has my twig" but I wasn't going to chase him for it. However, when I got back from lunch, there was my twig just where it had been all morning, so I picked it up and put it in my purse.

What a crock - huh? Just someone who really loves her grandchildren. :-)

He Came to

2008-04-28T14:41:00.000-07:00

Can You Believe It?

2008-03-25T19:49:00.000-07:00

My youngest grandson is a year old already! He just celebrated his first birthday last week. Also on the same day, he got his first haircut. It was fun watching him and taking a lot of pictures. He started out doing fairly good but when the barber, who happens to be my brother, turned on his clippers, our little man began to squirm and shortly after that, the tears came down the cute little cheeks. The haircut came out good for the amount of head turning, squirming and crying he did. "B" is such a cute little guy and he is also well loved by all. He is now beginning to take steps and starting to walk. Mom and Dad have been waiting for this day. I told them that when the baby starts to walk, he will utterly be into everything, and to be truthful, he has been very mobil on his knees. I just can't describe how much fun it has been just having the pleasure of watching him while Mom and Dad enjoy some together time and grandma enjoys some grandson time. I could go on and on but for now, I will just thank the Lord for giving me such an awesome family.

How Do You Pray for Someone Who is Terminally Ill?

2008-03-08T19:33:00.000-08:00

I have a long time friend and church member who has had throat Cancer for quite some time. Six months ago, his doctor gave him six months to live and today I found out that he is in his last stages of this disease. He and his wife are both devout Christians -- simply beautiful people. My heart has been heavy for them. Today I visited their home and had a lengthy conversation with his wife. After our conversation, I took her hand in prayer. I kind of stumbled through the prayer for I had no idea how to address this situation to God. I know that nothing is impossible with God; that if you have great faith (I mean as Jesus walked on water because of his strong faith). How can you pray for someone you know is dying and yet you ask the Lord for healing? Yet I know how much he is in pain and suffering. I don't want to pray for death for anyone even though I know that there would be no more suffering. When seeking the Lord for healing,you have to really know beyond a shadow of a doubt that God will heal.

I KNEW THEY WEREN'T READY!

2008-02-28T18:24:00.000-08:00

In my opinion Barack Obama was not expected to do this well in the run for President. He's getting too close, and just like I feel this country is not ready for a woman president, they are NOT ready for a black one. For a short time, I wondered how his campaign would be sabotaged and I'm not surprised that the Muslim card is being played. Let's see how far this will go. No matter what, it seems as though his campaign will either be slowed down and/or maybe even shut down. Even though we have come a long way as far as racism is concerned, with people like Colin Powell, Condolessa Rice, Clarence Thomas, and many other black dignitaries being in the high positions they hold, we still have a ways to go, plus perhaps, we may not find the light at the end of this tunnel in (I'll say) my life time any how. This is not an attempt to put down our country, this is just my opinion and I am merely exercising my right to freedom of speech.

There are many reasons I admire Senator Obama and I believe he would make a great President. My prayer is that God's will be done in this whole situation and the right/best person for the job will end up in office.

GET OVER YOURSELF!

2008-02-21T18:28:00.000-08:00

This is my sentiment to all of those out there who have the nerve to sit in judgment on anyone. The Bible says “we have ALL sinned and come short of the glory of God,” so why is McCain being ripped apart for something that he may or may not have done in the past.

I am not a Republican; however, I am upset over the way that candidates for President are raked over the coals by the media and those who start gossip just because in my opinion they want to be in the spotlight or to become famous at someone else’s expense. Those of you who leaked out or brought out the alleged affair between John McCain and his co-worker, I will be the first to say that to commit adultery is wrong but if I had a dollar for every man or woman in high offices or otherwise, who has been guilty of it, I would probably have more money than Warren Buffet.

This is so disgusting that the media is making such a fuss over something that to my knowledge has not even been proven yet. As I say – GET OVER YOURSELF! Get a life and quit trying to get ahead at someone else’s expense.

Even though I am an Obama constituent, I really detest what is going on against McCain. In my opinion, he looks to be a person on the straight and narrow. People do change -- what he may have done at a younger age does not mean he is still capable of adultry. We are trying to elect a president, not dig up dirt on the candidates who wish to run our country. The Bible also states something to the effect, before you try to remove the mote out of someone else's eye, first get it out of your own eye. Everyone must be careful about sitting in judgment on people because the Bible says something like judge not that you will be judged, for what measure you judge another, you will also be judged. Before you decide to accuse another, take a good look in the mirror and ask yourself, "am I perfect, and if you are honest, the answer will be "no."

SCRAPBOOKING MANIA

2008-01-21T18:50:00.000-08:00

Wow, I am learning how to really scrapbook! A co-worker who is very creative and does a lot of scrapbooking in her spare time, invited me to join her for an overnighter and scrapbooking session. I learned so much from her and did not realize I had sooooo many pictures of my grandchildren. I thought that one of my books would be enough to do sections for each grandchild -- WRONG! There is only enough pages to handle some of the pictures of my granddaughters so consequently, I'll have to get a separate scrapbook for the boys.

It is so much fun if you like being creative. It does take quite a while to decorate even one page, but it was fascinating to see how each page cames out after I was finished with it. Although I haven't gotten to the place that my projects look as professional as P's, my co-worker's, I am still excited about the hobby and look forward to doing a whole lot more.

We went to "Hobby Lobby" to get more stuff and they had a sale going. That was not good because when I saw all the things that were on sale, I wanted to buy out the place. unfortunately, I went over the budget, especially when later on in the day, I remembered that I had to purchase some medicine which was equally as expensive. Now I have to pray that I won't be in trouble financially before my next payday.

THIS RETIREMENT THANG AIN'T EASY!

2008-01-06T12:37:00.000-08:00

I always thought that to retire was just to quit working, have a retirement party and go on with you life. WELLLLLL, it's not that simple. Let me tell you, there's more work to retirement than working 8 hours a day on your job. Actually that is a exaggeration, but preparing for retirement is definitely NOT easy. First I had to apply for my benefits, then apply for Medicare Part A, then later on, it's applying for Part B, then C and D whatever they are. I understand that Part A or B will be $95 or something like that a month. Then I have to get busy and find a dentist that will take Medicare; figure out whether or not I want to pay to keep the life insurance that is currently paid for by the company at which I work.

I thought I was well into the process and was on my way to find the light at the end of this tunnel, however, someone informed me last week that I'm not halfway through yet. I had figured out my monthly benefits and decided that it wasn't going to be too bad. I would be able to make ends meet and perhaps have a little bit left over. WRONG! By the time I pay for health insurance, life insurance (which I already have with another company), dental insurance and whatever else I find out that will add to my monthly expenses (property taxes, regular taxes) WILL I HAVE ANY MONEY LEFT TO BASICALLY LIVE ON! It looks like I am going to have to join many others who have gotten part-time jobs to make it. I pray to God that this will not happen to me because I always dreamed that my retirement will consist of visiting grandchildren whenever I want for as long as I want. Shhhhh! Don't tell my children, I do not want them to know that they may have to put up with mama for perhaps more than a week or two. Ha, ha, Isn't that great? You all pray for me out there that at least I will completely finish the retirement preparation so I may be able to live my life without complications. Can I get an Amen?

Her Last words were -- "Call Dr. Jesus"

2007-12-15T09:23:00.000-08:00

A lot has happened since I last posted. On December 3, 2007, one of my very best life long friends passed away suddenly. It was devasting simply because she wasn't sick. She was very Spiritual; her every being was about the Lord. If you called her home and she was not there, she always had a different scripture on her phone to share. If you asked her how she was, she would always say "blessed." She was largely responsible to helping me to reach the level of Spirituality I now possess, even though my parents taught me about the Lord at a very young age, in fact, I grew up with the Lord.

I was at work when the phone rang, it was E., my dad's wife, she said to me, "did you hear about "S?" and at that point it seemed as though my heart dropped, and I said "no," and then she exclaimed "she died." I was livid, I mean livid. The first thing that came to my mind was "why S." She dearly loved the Lord; she had ongoing Bible studies each week with several people over the phone. She had numerous prayer partners as well as she was very good to the elderly people in our church. I could go on and on, but at this time, it is very hurtful to even talk or think about it. The words, "did you hear about S?" "She died," keeps going around in my mind. I know that in no way are we to question the Lord because he knows what's best, and I do ask for his forgiveness. S collasped on the driveway of her apartment complex and was taken to the hospital. When asked who they should call, she said "call Dr. Jesus," and then passed away.

The following week, just before the funeral, our church had a mourning session where we all told our feelings about "S." I learned a lot more about her than I knew before. Here's to her memory -- we all know where she is; she's in a better place with the Lord.

What's at the Water Cooler Besides Gossip?

2007-11-29T19:02:00.000-08:00

GERMS, THAT'S WHAT! You all know how it is said that people gather at the water cooler to chat or gossip? We have a water cooler in the building where I work. It is located in the hallway just outside of my office. Many times I see co-workers go to the cooler with their own personal water bottles they have already drank from, put it right on the spout where the water comes out and refill their bottles then walk down the hall drinking from the same bottle. It amazes me that they don’t even realize they are passing germs. I think I’m the only one in our office who notices this as I do not hear anyone else complain about it. Day after day people continue to leave their germs at the water cooler by filling their own personal containers. Are people really that ignorant? Do they not think or do they not care?

Going Back in Time/Reliving the Past

2007-11-26T16:14:00.000-08:00

Today I had the privilege of making a dream come true. Over the past 65 years of my life the city in which I live and grew up in has changed tremendously and of course this is no surprise. I can almost close my eyes and see the way old things were when I was a child growing up and attending elementary school here. Back in those days we called it “grade school.” Many buildings in that old neighborhood have been torn down and streets have been added. It just doesn’t look the same at all except in my mind.

The elementary school I attended as a child is still standing in the same place and has never been torn down. It is sort of a dirty dark pink color and resembles a castle like in the Cinderella fairy stories and there is an old fire escape just outside of the old first grade classroom. For a long time I have wanted to go back and visit the school just to see if it had changed inside. I wanted to climb those old steps and open the front door and just go inside as I did back in the old school days. However, there has been an addition built onto it which is a church/daycare so I had to enter into the new portion.

A couple nights ago, I dreamed that I finally made the step and visited the old castle looking school building and toured it. I recalled the rooms and the teachers who were in those rooms. The dream was so real that I did not feel it was a dream until I woke up, and then I was disappointed that I had not yet taken the step to go tour the old school building. For the entire day after I had the dream, I continued to think about the dream and what it meant to me. “I must make this dream come true,” “after all I have waited for this time to come for a long time. I don’t know why I have not done it before now”. Well, this dream was a couple nights ago and I still longed to go tour the school as the dream was deeply on my mind along with the fond memories that go with the past and when I was a student there. Today on my way home from work, around 4:00pm, I finally decided to do it, “just do it,” I thought. I turned my car in the direction of the school and while on my way; my mind went back in time. There is a park directly across from the school building where we went to play, swim, swing, play baseball and so many other things. I stared at the park and realized it hadn’t changed much either. I envisioned myself and friends playing as we did years ago. As I got closer to the school building, I began to be afraid, thinking “what if the people there will be rude and wonder who I am and why I’m there and if I am someone who has come to cause some kind of trouble?” “What if they don’t let me come in?” I had made it this far, so I will just park my car and go in. I first went to the old stairs so as to enter the front door as we used to and just as I had always dreamed I would, but the sign on the door said to go to the church entrance. I went there and tried the door but to my disappointment, it was locked. I looked up and saw a doorbell and rang it. A lady came to the door, and when I told her what I wanted, she was very friendly and receptive to my wishes. She shared with me that every now and then someone will come who has gone to the school and want to tour the building as well. In fact, just a few weeks ago, a man was there for the same purpose. I was so excited as she so willingly took me through the building for my tour. It was just as I thought. The classrooms were in the same spots and as we went through I reminisced to her what classes and teachers were in each room and a couple of experiences I’d had back then. She was almost as excited as I and seemed to enjoy going around with me and listening to my tales of “way back when.” I think one of the high points was when I went into the girl’s bathroom and it was exactly the same – it was all so amazing! It was so enlightening and at one point, I found myself pinching my arm just to make sure this was not “just another dream”. After I finished the tour, I came home and decided to sit down and blog this one. What an enlightening experience it was, just like visiting a museum. This was a time when things were a lot less stressful and we were allowed to be kids and school was as it should be when the teachers were allowed to use their authority and we were made to respect them. I thank the Lord for allowing me the pleasure of visiting the old school building and finally allowing a long time dream come true. I could go on and on with this post but I think I’ve put in too much already. Perhaps I will continue to add more information onto this later and perhaps it will become a story.

I CAN'T BE LOSING MY MIND CAN I?

2007-11-19T13:35:00.000-08:00

This morning when I got up, I went to the front door and opened it. It was foggy outside and kind of damp as though it had rained. All of a sudden I spied the electric power lines and they appeared to be down lower than usual. I kept staring at them and then I began to wonder what had gone on last night for this to happen. I looked next door and the lines were low. I called Mid-American Energy's 1-800 number to report it. They took my name, address, etc. over the phone and said they would send someone out to check it. I then decided to go around the neighborhood and see if they were down all over. After a trip around the block, in my car, I decided that the power lines were low all over and again called Mid-America to report it. Approximately 20 minutes later, there was a knock on the door and when I answered it, a man from the power company said he had come out and checked everything and that it was normal. I looked surprised and then asked if he had gone around the neighborhood. I was a adamant that what I had seen were lowered power lines, lines that appeared to be so low that they almost touched trees and houses. I even warned a couple of neighbors to be careful. I was almost devasted that the man from Mid-America had told me that they were supposed to be that way. I then began to wonder what made me think that things were different, after all, I have lived in this same house for over 30 years and have never thought the lines were low before. I then kind of panicked, wondering what was wrong with me. Why had this happened? I was embarrassed and stunned. Finally, I called Mid-American Energy and apologized about reporting this and how "stupid" I felt. The lady was very nice and told me not to feel that way; she was glad I had called. It was better to be safe than to be sorry. I then called one of my neighbors to straighten out the confusion. I am still wondering why I thought the lines were down and the only thing I can think of is it was probably because of the heavy fog. I was not disappointed that the power lines were normal, I was upset because it appeared that I was losing it.

What a close call that was!

2007-10-30T16:46:00.000-07:00

This evening I had two friends whom I grew up with at the house for a visit. We all attend the same church and have pretty near the same religious values but maybe a little different in some areas. We gathered this evening to do a bit of scrapbooking. Two of us love crafts and even though the third person of our little group is not quite into the crafts, we were able to enjoy the evening as our conversations went from one subject to another, all topics relating to faith and the love and trust of God.

The conversation went from our childhood and an amusing story of how one of the girls, S, and her sister lived down the street from us and on every Christmas morning, they would come to our house and see what we got and show us what they got. Sometime before the morning was over, S would manage to break one of my dolls or one of my brother's toys. Since we have gotten older, we have had a big joke about that. She always claims she was a scientist and was curious as to how the doll's eyes would open and shut, then she says in an amusing manner "why take the head off of my own doll to experiment?" You would actually have to hear us joke about it to really gain the amusment of the story. Actually I brought it up because I wanted to tell her how my seven month old grandson is already turning over his toys as if to investigate how they are made.

We touched on our Seventh Day Sabbath keeping, as we are Seventh-Day Adventists, then went on to how Spirituality has been taken out of the schools and yet, Halloween, an annual activity that is supposed to be of Satan, is allowed and no one says anything about it. The conversation then turned to the war and the United States, Iran, Iraq, Kwait, and how all of this relates to prophecy. We drifted on to talking about various evangelists on TBN and that conversation went on for a good season.

Then somehow while discussing things that bring on fear to each of us, I shared that one of our students at the school where I'm employed brought a snake in after having a walk with the class, and started to pull it out of her slieve to show it to me. I am highly frightened to snakes and exclaimed to her not to show it to me, and when she went to another room, I left the building and went to another building of our organization to finish out the day. This lead the conversation to the other two girls expressing their fear of bugs and mice, etc. One of my friends shared a story of how she would react if she went to a person's house to witness about the Bible and discovered mice. My other friend began to share her fear of mice and how she never wants to run into any at a friend's house or anywhere else. S. noticed that my eyes got big and said she thought I was reacting to their mouse tales but little did they both know that because I live in a wooded area and since we have been getting colder weather, I saw a mouse going across the floor one night last week. It startled me because I too am scared of them. I moved and it ran so that told me they are as afraid of me as I am of them. Several times since, I have prayed that there aren't any mice in my house, and all the while we were having our conversations of fear, I was praying to God that he would not allow a mouse to run across the floor. God heard my prayer and the girls were able to go home after enjoying a nice visit with me and without my critter imposing himself upon us while we visited.

My Mother--A Strong Woman

2007-10-02T03:50:00.000-07:00

During the floods of 93, my house was pretty damaged by all the rain. The grounds where I live shift, and as a result my basement walls shift also; therefore, causing large cracks in my basement which is made of cement blocks. At that time the basement began to cave causing the basement to look as though the walls were going to simply cave in. Therefore, I had to apply to FEMA for the funds to fix the damages done by the excess rains. Because my house appeared to be dangerous, I had to reside with my parents for approximately a year or so.

My mother suffered from diabetes and occasionally had shortness of breath so bad that she had to use an oxygen tank that my dad bought for her. Since she was so ill and I was having anxiety because I began to fear we were going to loose her; I began seeking professional help. Many times I would just break out crying as she had the terrible pain of gout, and her medicine would make her sick to the stomach and she would endure the pain of gout when not on the medication and when she took it, she became sick to the stomach. Because I was so close to her throughout my life, it became almost unbearable to think about being here without her. Since my dad worked at nights, I would climb in bed with my mother, perhaps trying to hold on to her as long as I could.

At that time, I didn’t realize she was having shortness of breath at night and needed to use her oxygen tank to get her breath. She would ask to use my asthma inhaler to get her breath. Because she didn’t want to stress me out, she would not use her oxygen tank and perhaps suffered it out throughout the night. To show you how God works, one night I told myself that I needed to stop climbing in bed with my mom and sleep in the other bedroom, and this was because I felt I was really too old to be sleeping beside my mother.

Many nights, I would wake up to the sound of my mother using her oxygen tank; trying to get her breath. She was unaware that I could hear her. I realized at that point that it was a good thing that I decided to move to another room because now when she woke up in the middle of the night, she could use her oxygen tank without the fear of stressing me out. I always knew that she was the kind of person who would suffer through illnesses rather than to let on to us that she was ill.

I always marveled as to how, even though she was ill, she would single handedly fix a large Thanksgiving dinner for the whole family so we could all enjoy a wonderful meal together. Cooking was also one of her strong points. She made the best corn-bread dressing ever. Now when Thanksgiving comes around, I am the one who fixes the meal when I'm not invited somewhere else. It is not an easy task and I am fairly healthy, thank God. Throughout her life, my mother endured many hardships from contacting TB of the bone, a “wicked step-mother,” an unfaithful husband who remained unfaithful throughout the marriage and who was abusive during the beginning of their marriage. Although my dad was all of that, he was a good dad, who took very good care of us, and somehow managed to raise us in a Spiritual setting. We (my brother and I) never knew how hurt, unhappy and how much she suffered mentally and physically because she was so strong and because of her love for us, she was able to keep us from seeing how badly she was hurting/suffering.

On June 18, 1995, my worse fear came to light. My parents had gone to a church camp in Kansas City, Mo. After a week or so of Spiritual blessings, they started to return home. They were driving a truck and pulling a trailer. Just 40 miles out of our city, something happened and the truck and trailer turned over and because my parents did not have on their seatbelts, they both went through the window and somehow the truck killed my mother. At times, I can still hear those words as my son told them to me. “We lost grandma on the highway today.” She was the best mom God could give you as we always knew how much she loved us and took much time with us and taught us a lot about life in general and along with my dad, she gave us the love of God. That’s one of the many reasons why I was so close to her.

I RECEIVED MY MEDICARE CARD TODAY!!!!

2007-09-10T18:18:00.000-07:00

A medicare card of all things -- WHAT'S UP WITH THAT???? I don't feel like a person on medicare, and most people say I don't look like it, but here I am the mother of two sons in their forties and two in their thirties. I guess I am a candidate for medicare.

Well, momma bear -- you go on with your medicare while you walk two miles around Grays Lake every chance you get and four miles around every now and then, always on the go; and most of all -- hanging with the LORD. He's the reason I feel the way I do -- like one of the kids ready to run and play. That's the way it is when you hang out with the LORD. He's my rock and salvation, my morning star. I believe in Him and know that he controls my life. It's a good feeling to know that the LORD is in your corner and that you have a good solid relationship with Him and he knows how you feel.

Something Funny

2007-08-11T20:07:00.000-07:00

I have a four month old grandson. He is a cutie just like his cousin, 'K", yet they have never seen each other because one lives in Texas and one lives here in Iowa.

Every Friday evening I get the privilege to "hang out" with my little (four-month old) grandson. This gives mommy and daddy a little dating time. I enjoy this because it gives me a chance to bond with him so that whenever he sees me, he will know who I am.

B. is not sitting up by himself yet, however, he does with someone holding him in that position. I just sit on the floor with him in front of me and pull the toys close enough so that he can attempt to play with them by batting them around. He has a little train that plays music while going across the floor. B. likes to take the blocks off the train and, of course, put them in his mouth or bat at them. He has several little toys lying around that I pull up to him so he can attempt to grab at them or bat at them.

Today, I talked with "mommy" and she told me they have lots of family over; one of whom is a little cousin about a couple months older than B. Mommy informed me that B was not sharing his toys and that whenever his little cousin tries to play with them, B. makes these baby sounds that tells them he doesn't want his cousin playing with his toys. Can you imagine that, a four-month-old not wanting to share? I got a kick out of that one; but just wait until he gets older -- it won't get any better. I've had issues with this starting with my first son on down to my seventh grandchild and each time I got a kick out of teaching them to share. My 13-year-old granddaughter, M, is still not very good at sharing.

"Are you Going to the Funeral tomorrow?"

2007-07-31T18:09:00.002-07:00

Those were the words I heard yesterday right after I answered the phone at my office.

“What Funeral?” I said in a confused expression.

My dad was surprised that I didn’t know what he was talking about. He quickly told me of a young man who was killed a couple days ago and he was related to a family that attends our church.

“The pastor announced it this past Sabbath, didn’t you hear him?” “No I didn’t.”

I had to leave the Sanctuary on business a couple of times so I figured the pastor may have announced it while I was out.

“Daddy,” as I call him, expressed to me his desire to go to this young man’s funeral to pay respects to the family members who he had been good friends over the years.

Today at 11:00 a.m. my 87-year old dad and I attended the funeral of a young 15-year-old teenager who was killed by a hit and run driver who was under the influence of drugs. I had never seen him before but when I looked at the obituary, my heart became full of grief to see such a young person had left this world needlessly because someone who was under the influence of drugs got behind the wheel of a car and in a few careless minutes snuffed out the life of an innocent young man who was just walking down the street.

My mind began to wander as I looked around the room and saw his fellow school peers sitting all around. My eyes then went to the mother as my heart went out to her, knowing how she was feeling sitting there looking at her young son in the casket. I thought about two of my sons who are at odds with each other and have been for over six or seven years. Life is so short and unpredictable. No one knows what the next instant, second minute will bring. I pray that the Lord will not allow a death to bring those two siblings together. I think of how this whole thing happened between my two sons; it was something I said in the spur of a moment, not thinking of how it would drive a wedge between two of the children I love so deeply. I have strived, prayed, manipulated and everything to bring them back together as two loving siblings, but to no avail. Whenever I attend a funeral, this particular circumstance comes to my mind and I become emotional all over again.

After the minister spoke and the viewing began; I went up to see the body of a young person I had never seen before, but all of a sudden my eyes focused on the body and the innocence of the teenaged boy. When I saw the display of grief and tears from his peers, it broke my heart. I wanted to reach out and hug each and every one of them just to let them know that someone really loves them. Even though I didn’t know the young man, who passed away, in my heart it was one of the saddest funerals I attended just because it was a young kid. I love young people (little kids, big kids, teens, and youth) and it hurts me to see what’s happening to them.

A Day filled with Different Emotions

2007-07-30T15:20:00.000-07:00

My emotions have been all over the place today. At one point I was feeling pretty onery; sending e-mails to a co-worker in an effort to gross her out, simply because I have been feeling that way of late. Last week I received an e-mail from a friend. The contents was referring to the preparation of foods in Chinese Restaurants. I love Chinese food; and have enjoyed eating at one of my favorite dining establishments here in town with a group of co-workers who gather there with me occasionally to celebrate each other's birthdays. I don't know how much of this e-mail is true but there were attachments with pictures showing rats being prepared as a popular dish there and the pictures were similar to an entre I have favored over the years. Since I don't indulge in eating pork, I usually choose chicken dishes. After reading the e-mail sent to me; I began to wonder if in fact, I have been eating chicken.

This e-mail is not meant to offend anyone nor is it meant to be racist. I am an African-American and am very familiar with racism. After thinking about this and feeling somewhat grossed out, the thought came to mind that people all over the world are different. The food preparation in many different cultures, while they may be very tasteful, may seem gross to someone of another culture. Americans eat racoons, rabbit, pig, and other things that may seem gross to other races. I have heard the dog and cat stories regarding Asians and definitely African-Americans eat pigs feet and Chitlins which I believe are intestines in animals.

Speaking of being grossed out, the other day I was sitting on my couch watching television. I stood up and turned around to see something run across it. It looked to be a waterbug which I haven't seen for years. When I moved the pillow, whatever it was dashed across the rest of the couch. It was gray and appeared to be a healthy looking mouse. I have had to depend on my faith in God just to be able to go into the living room, however, I haven't sat on the couch since. I can't imagine what could have attracted whatever it was because I keep my garbage out, dishes done, etc. However, during the last snow storm, my awning on the front door fell off and it broke the wooden border around the front door and I am in the process of trying to make arrangements to get it fixed, but in the meantime, who knows what could have squeezed through the small opening at the doorway. Therefore, just thinking about that has had me grossed out for several days.

Speaking of being ornery, I was out in front of the office watering the flowers and across the street was a man up at the top level of an apartment complex putting in new windows and painting. Oh, how I wanted to take the hose and sprayer and just turn it up towards him and squirt him. That would have cracked me up, but it's a blessing the spray on the hose wouldn't have reached him because I don't know that man from Adam.

Lastly, after I got home from work, I thought about another e-mail I received from a co-worker that had the obituary of a former co-worker who just died of ALS last Thursday. He was a pleasant person, one of whom I kidded with a lot when he worked with us before he retired. All of a sudden I became saddened and tears began to swell up within me. I would definitely say this was a day filled with different emotions.

Have a blessed day to all of you.

"I've Been Tagged"

2007-07-21T13:43:00.000-07:00

"Why do I Love Jesus"

I was tagged a short while back and I think it was Rosemarie. The question is "Why do I Love Jesus.? I had to think about that one for a while, simply because there million reasons to love Jesus and it was hard to put them into the right words. Actually, I was introduced to Jesus at a very young age, in the form of God Himself while sitting on the lap of my dad. Immediately I became impressed while receiving knowledge of Him. I don't know exactly when I was introduced to God the Son, but I feel as though he's been with me all my life.

Sure I find myself questioning things I don't understand every now and then, but it is apparent to me that we don't question God. I love Jesus because He is always here for me. He has and is still doing a great deal for me, my family and many people around me. The testimonies I hear from others are amazing, as though they are unreal, but not.

It is quite hard to imagine the pain and suffering He went through for us. I mean just think, He paid it all, and we are still putting him through misery because we refuse to obey Him and get into His word. I cannot bring myself to watch crucifixion movies; at least the part where he was crucified because it's hard for me to watch anyone suffer and to imagine the extend of His suffering. I'm very sorry that our salvation had to be bought that way, but on the same level, I don't take what he did lightly and am very gratful for his sacrifice. Love is a very strong word, plus the feelings that comes with it. "Why do I love Jesus?" He follows me around in my heart, and through the Holy Spirit, He keeps me in line (that is, if I listen to Him). Every time I do something wrong or think to do something wrong, the Spirit of God let's me know it. When I pray, the Lord hears my prayers because Jesus intercedes for me and that tells me Jesus loves me and He is in my corner. I am blessed to have Him in my life because I know He will lead me to salvatiion and oh, I can't imagine what it will be like in Heaven and then we will be able to see him; talk to him, hug him and much more. Therefore, I say "Why do I love Jesus?" Because He first loved me, and He proved it.

The Wallet

2007-07-11T15:34:00.000-07:00

Received an e-mail this morning from Mrs. Buck (whose dad had come to visit the family last week); it read:

Your First Born was complaining to my dad last week because I accidentally washed his wallet. It completely fell apart and all of his cards, money and stuff were scattered throughout the washing machine. He said I owed him a new wallet. Well, I didn’t go get one so, he got a new one himself. This morning he showed it to "K" and said, “It’s Mommy’s job to check all of my pockets before she washes my clothes!” I said, “No, it is your job to empty your pockets before your clothes go in the hamper (if they make it there).” "K" said, “I agree with Dad!” I told Buck that I was going to tell his mom on him, so there!
Mom says -- "We women must stick together; therefore, he needs to empty his pockets before they end up on the floor, I mean in the hamper." That's Brotha Buck for you. ha, ha

Related thought: Wonder what her dad's reaction to that was.

2007-07-08T11:39:00.000-07:00

HOW DOES IT FEEL???

(This post was written a couple of months ago when I thought I was able to post again -- just wanted to share this with you).

To open a newly published book, illustrated by your son who has followed his dream of being an illustrator of children’s books for the better part of his life and read on the inside of the dedication page “Thank God for my mom, my biggest fan, best supporter, and most enthusiastic cheerleader.” How does it feel when you see the results of raising a young man who had the self determination he has always had? To watch him pursue his dreams in spite of those people who came at him with negativisms such as, you will not make it as an illustrator because the field is not lucrative, especially in Iowa,” “You should not take that in college, you won’t make it,” “There’s not enough money in that kind of work, etc.; “yet he goes right ahead and sets out to claim his dream no matter what, and makes a complete success of it. I saw the same drive in his paternal aunt who had no support from anyone except for her God and her determination to prove to the world that no matter what, she would become a success and now they are both acclaimed in their field.

How does it feel when you open beautiful cards from your daughter-in-law with wonderful expressions of love, admiration, thank you expressions and Spiritual sentiments and prayers?

How does it feel when you pick up the phone and a four year old little voice is on your voice message reciting the One-Hundredth Psalm and ends by saying “I love you.” That little voice is five-years-old now and I still have the message he left saved.

Then one day you receive a card in the mail for Easter with a newspaper article about your son, telling a story about an experience he had talking to a bunch of kids behind bars about his experiences as a children’s book illustrator and how he is now writing books. You turn the page an read on when all of a sudden these words reach out and grab you as they say “by all accounts my future should have been dim, but I had three things; I had enthusiasm, a desire to succeed and a mother who cheered my every dream.”

This makes you feel so overwhelmed with joy that tears swell up in you like a balloon that is about to burst. These are not tears of sorrow, but tears of happiness, such happiness that you cannot describe. I thank God for what he has done for me. Many times I wish I hadn’t married the father of my children but when I think of the legacy that came out of that marriage (four awesome sons), I would say that it was worth it.

2007-07-07T19:48:00.000-07:00

Here I go again, trying to get back into the swing of things. It's been a looooooong haul but I hope this is the end of trying to recapture my blogspot and that I will at last be able to post and comment. Pray for me out there in blog land.

Test

2007-07-06T18:05:00.001-07:00

Test